Hello all
It's been a while since my last post so I thought I'd update you on my recent life activity. .................(birds chirp)............... Aaaand I got nothing. There has been literally nothing going on in my life. Like... nothing of even the remotest interest has happened to me since I last posted. Sure, I could blog about my crazy college days or my shenanigans in Dallas up to this month of alcohol abstinence, but frankly my memory is that of an 80 year old woman and I don't feel like thinking up a good story. Maybe one will come to me while I type this. Who knows. Anyway, after my debaucherous week of 21 year olds and then Austin, I decided I needed to take a break to really reassess the direction of my life up to this point. I was going to figure it all out: my career, my love life, get back into shape... you name it. Don't they call this a quarter-life crisis? Anyway, by October 1, I was going to be a brand new woman.
Well.. sitting here in my cubicle as of Sept. 30th... none of the aforementioned things have occurred. Sure, I may be a little healthier (not drinking and smoking 5 days a week will do that) but as for everything else.... nope. My job is the same. No boys to speak of. Ohh but I did dye my hair brown! So ThATs a little change.(surely you all know by now that a quick change of hair color is the solution to all life's problems) But that's about it.
In my little break from going out, I've noticed a sudden trend of the people in my life; they all seem to be coupling up lately!! What's that about? I guess holiday season is just around the corner and people don't want to be alone. Sadly, staying in every night and watching The CW while knitting and drinking tea, and going to bed by 9:30 (hypothetically. i am OBVIously not talking about myself) isn't necessarily the most ideal environment to meet a potential love interest. So I ask you this: After college, where exactly are you supposed to meet people? Coworkers? Nope. Been down that road and it wasn't pretty. And I've pretty much met all my friends' friends at this point.. I dont know about you all, (actually i do since you all pretty much went to my school) but the thing that made dating in college awesome is that for four years pretty much everyone was perpetually drunk. Then one night you would wastedly hook up, and that would turn into a consistent hookup, then you'd have a DTR (or is it... RDT??) and BAM! you're "dating". And we all knew each other. It was EASY to find out about a guy you had a crush on. Everyone knew who everyone was, their history, their reputation. This could be both a good and bad thing ... but let's just say it's a good thing I graduated when I did because my actions senior year were not my finest, and i'm pretty sure people would not date me. But I digress.. now that college is over, are bars the most common place to meet people?
If you want to be entertained.. seriously... go out to any bar, and just sit on a stool and observe. Its like this crazy mating ritual. They should seriously do a show about it on the Discovery Channel. Everyone dresses up to look their sexiest (kind of like when peacocks show their feathers to attract potential mates).. and goes out. They drink to build up confidence, which can sometimes backfire, (refer to previous post: Alcohol: Friend or Frenemy) and literally SCAN the crowd until they find someone they like. Once they have zeroed in on a target, the show really gets interesting, as I'm sure you're aware, there are several different methods for approaching said person. Pickup lines are cheesy but can be funny. I once had a young Jewish man throw out a catch phrase he was wanting to try out (the Jewish part is relevant to the story, I assure you) , another guy onced told me about his "business idea'" for a coffee table book of people and how they look when they wake up in the morning. Then there's the "accidental drink spill" to start up conversation. Oh, and my personal favorite (and a great way to get free drinks) is to go stand at the bar (ALONE. ladies, you must be alone for this to work) and look confused. I'm not really sure how the look of confusion adds to this routine, but I assure you it has about a 90% success rate. Let people order in front of you and act like maybe you're thinking about what to order. Inevitably, some guy will buy you a drink. Or a shot. Or both.
Anyway, I'm getting off topic. My point is... sometimes I don't want to be forced to partake in this terrible mating ritual of standing (painfully, in heels) at a bar, drinking and trying to look like i'm having fun, and talking to a bunch of duds that have nothing interesting to say in hopes that they'll at least buy me a drink. Or then, if they're cute enough and I give them my number, the best I can seem to hope for is a 10pm text: "what r u up to"... UGH. Remember dating? What happened to that?!?! I mean, sure it's a little forced and awkward but a free meal and some decent conversation never hurt anybody. Plus this way you can actually get to know someone without having to shout "WHAT DO YOU DO" or "WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL" at the top of your lungs over Lady Gaga in a smoke-infested club. So, in an effort to meet new people (and men in particular) I joined a kickball league. Game one is tonight. Maybe there will be some cute guys on the opposing team. Stay tuned. If not, there's always online dating. (which I have very strong feelings about and will blog about at a later date. tbd.) Hope you all are having wonderful weeks.
It's been a while since my last post so I thought I'd update you on my recent life activity. .................(birds chirp)............... Aaaand I got nothing. There has been literally nothing going on in my life. Like... nothing of even the remotest interest has happened to me since I last posted. Sure, I could blog about my crazy college days or my shenanigans in Dallas up to this month of alcohol abstinence, but frankly my memory is that of an 80 year old woman and I don't feel like thinking up a good story. Maybe one will come to me while I type this. Who knows. Anyway, after my debaucherous week of 21 year olds and then Austin, I decided I needed to take a break to really reassess the direction of my life up to this point. I was going to figure it all out: my career, my love life, get back into shape... you name it. Don't they call this a quarter-life crisis? Anyway, by October 1, I was going to be a brand new woman.
Well.. sitting here in my cubicle as of Sept. 30th... none of the aforementioned things have occurred. Sure, I may be a little healthier (not drinking and smoking 5 days a week will do that) but as for everything else.... nope. My job is the same. No boys to speak of. Ohh but I did dye my hair brown! So ThATs a little change.(surely you all know by now that a quick change of hair color is the solution to all life's problems) But that's about it.
In my little break from going out, I've noticed a sudden trend of the people in my life; they all seem to be coupling up lately!! What's that about? I guess holiday season is just around the corner and people don't want to be alone. Sadly, staying in every night and watching The CW while knitting and drinking tea, and going to bed by 9:30 (hypothetically. i am OBVIously not talking about myself) isn't necessarily the most ideal environment to meet a potential love interest. So I ask you this: After college, where exactly are you supposed to meet people? Coworkers? Nope. Been down that road and it wasn't pretty. And I've pretty much met all my friends' friends at this point.. I dont know about you all, (actually i do since you all pretty much went to my school) but the thing that made dating in college awesome is that for four years pretty much everyone was perpetually drunk. Then one night you would wastedly hook up, and that would turn into a consistent hookup, then you'd have a DTR (or is it... RDT??) and BAM! you're "dating". And we all knew each other. It was EASY to find out about a guy you had a crush on. Everyone knew who everyone was, their history, their reputation. This could be both a good and bad thing ... but let's just say it's a good thing I graduated when I did because my actions senior year were not my finest, and i'm pretty sure people would not date me. But I digress.. now that college is over, are bars the most common place to meet people?
If you want to be entertained.. seriously... go out to any bar, and just sit on a stool and observe. Its like this crazy mating ritual. They should seriously do a show about it on the Discovery Channel. Everyone dresses up to look their sexiest (kind of like when peacocks show their feathers to attract potential mates).. and goes out. They drink to build up confidence, which can sometimes backfire, (refer to previous post: Alcohol: Friend or Frenemy) and literally SCAN the crowd until they find someone they like. Once they have zeroed in on a target, the show really gets interesting, as I'm sure you're aware, there are several different methods for approaching said person. Pickup lines are cheesy but can be funny. I once had a young Jewish man throw out a catch phrase he was wanting to try out (the Jewish part is relevant to the story, I assure you) , another guy onced told me about his "business idea'" for a coffee table book of people and how they look when they wake up in the morning. Then there's the "accidental drink spill" to start up conversation. Oh, and my personal favorite (and a great way to get free drinks) is to go stand at the bar (ALONE. ladies, you must be alone for this to work) and look confused. I'm not really sure how the look of confusion adds to this routine, but I assure you it has about a 90% success rate. Let people order in front of you and act like maybe you're thinking about what to order. Inevitably, some guy will buy you a drink. Or a shot. Or both.
Anyway, I'm getting off topic. My point is... sometimes I don't want to be forced to partake in this terrible mating ritual of standing (painfully, in heels) at a bar, drinking and trying to look like i'm having fun, and talking to a bunch of duds that have nothing interesting to say in hopes that they'll at least buy me a drink. Or then, if they're cute enough and I give them my number, the best I can seem to hope for is a 10pm text: "what r u up to"... UGH. Remember dating? What happened to that?!?! I mean, sure it's a little forced and awkward but a free meal and some decent conversation never hurt anybody. Plus this way you can actually get to know someone without having to shout "WHAT DO YOU DO" or "WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL" at the top of your lungs over Lady Gaga in a smoke-infested club. So, in an effort to meet new people (and men in particular) I joined a kickball league. Game one is tonight. Maybe there will be some cute guys on the opposing team. Stay tuned. If not, there's always online dating. (which I have very strong feelings about and will blog about at a later date. tbd.) Hope you all are having wonderful weeks.
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